


The Sleeping Mind

by MoxieLaB



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-01
Updated: 2004-11-01
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoxieLaB/pseuds/MoxieLaB
Summary: A scant snippet on the dreaming mind of Simon Tam.





	The Sleeping Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

The Sleeping Mind

## The Sleeping Mind

I don't know how much longer I can go on this way. I'm coming apart at every seam, I can feel it. Each passing day gets longer and requires more of me. I haven't slept through the night in months. Even when everything is quiet and calm and there's no noise in my cabin but the drone of the engine and the rasp of my own breath, I don't sleep. Don't want to sleep. Every class of nightmare assails me when I close my eyes. Well, it's actually only one class of nightmare, but in various twisted configurations. 

River is held to an operating table with hard restraints, eyes staring into the open air. The Men are there, the Men who brought excruciating death to the Fed soldiers on Ariel, as well as doctors and guards, surrounding her. Blindly, I lunge at them. But I'm unarmed and suddenly so weak. That battle is over almost as soon as it's engaged. And there I am with a knife in my back or blood pouring from my eyes while They whisk River away effortlessly. She doesn't even know to fight them anymore. 

When my eyes open and the hold that these scenes have on my mind finally begins to slip, I run. I run as far away from River's and my berths as I can, hoping that distance has some bearing on her preternatural perception. She doesn't need to see these things. Not with what she's already been through. 

Tonight was the worst yet. Even as I sit here, fighting off traitorous sleep with this disgusting impersonation of coffee, I can't clear my mind of it. 

Tiny River is laying in her crib while I stand there dumb. Such a peaceful front, but I know there's a maelstrom underneath and so much pain and misery awaits her. I'm ready. I think I'm ready. I'm holding the little pillow that our nanny embroidered with hearts and flowers. It covers her face completely. And she's thrashing and kicking, pounding her little legs against the mattress. It's only a moment before she's reduced to wincing and whimpering. And then she's still and I've saved her. Haven't I? 

Did I? 

Can I? 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **The Sleeping Mind**   
Author:   **Mary Kroll**   [website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **PG-13**  |  **gen**  |  **1k**  |  **11/01/04**   
Characters:  Simon, River   
Summary:  A scant snippet on the dreaming mind of Simon Tam.   
  



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